Top 10 List

Wooohooo! Less than 34 hours to go until departure for Wingstock at the time of my typing this. Are you excited? I am. Can you tell? If you’re still visiting the Wingstock website (good for you), you deserve a reward. Here is a customized Wingstock top 10 list of attractions in Ottawa:

1. Parliament Hill – stroll the corridors of power and try to find Matt or Dave’s boss’s boss’s boss. Put in a good word. I highly recommend telling him about Dave’s amazing “monopod” skill. You know the one. It’s when he puts his left foot on his right knee and his elbow on his left knee and his chin in his hand…and sleeps standing up!!!

2. By Ward Market – Canada’s oldest, continuously operating farmers’ market is a charming area with shops and restaurants of all kinds. Charming, old, and continuously “operating”…sound like anyone you know? Info: Tel: (613) 562-3325 or (519) 756-7711.

3. Canadian Museum of Civilization – trace Canadian history from the Vikings to the present day. Visit the special “de-evolutionary” exhibit, a mobile crew of 9 men traveling Ottawa from June 19 – 22nd. If you find them, look for the one with the curly hair. It’s nice hair. Info: Tel: (819) 776-7000.

4. Rideau Canal – a haven for boaters in the summer, the canal is transformed into the world’s longest skating rink in winter. On June 19th it will be coloured green…not for a delayed summer St. Patty’s Day, but because green is the colour of Wingstock! Info: Tel: (613) 239-5000.

5. Sparks Street Mall – Canada’s oldest pedestrian mall is perfect for shopping, strolling or taking a break in a café. Hey Scotch! If you like Scotch, you can get it in here. We’re pretty sure anyway. Info: Tel: (613) 230-0984.

6. National Gallery of Canada – home to the world’s largest collection of Canadian art as well as excellent European and American collections. Definitely the first stop for Wingstock. Unfortunately for Winger, the Pamela Anderson display was closed last year. Complain by calling: Tel: (613) 990-1985.

7. Casino Du Lac-Leamy – Try your luck at the region’s most glamorous entertainment spot. Yeah right. “Most glamorous.” The most glamorous entertainment spot will be wherever you find Joel this weekend. He’s not called “Yoshi the Glaminator” for nothing! (That’s what it was, right?) Info: Tel: (819) 772-2100.

8. Rideau Centre – 200 fine shops and restaurants right in the downtown core. While we’re talking about “cores,” nothing compares to the Bear’s core. It’s a serious slab of funk. Info: Tel: (613) 236-6565

9. Canadian War Museum – See stories of heroes and of the human cost of war, both at home and on the battlefield. Well, I’m not about to joke about war. But I will say that I’m pretty sure a certain gentleman, once “Gremlanized,” could sleep through the worst of them. Info: Tel: (819) 776-8600.

10. Notre-Dame Basilica – Discover Ottawa’s oldest surviving church with over 200 statues surrounding the main altar. Go and pray. For whatever you want. That’s the thing about praying, it’s up to you really. So…machines? A QB for your Dolphins? The soft hands award? Non-stinking booties? A bear-repellant cancel-out-er? Diagonal highways? Cheese? Bread? Peanut butter? A microphone? Go for it! Info: Tel: (613) 239-5000.